To Worship Him I live - Fiona Keshure

Chosen and appointed despite knowing all my flaws and weaknesses

I had a change of role at work, while I knew it was a promotion from God in more ways than one, I allowed the fear of men to creep into my heart and I started allowing comparison to get a hold of my mind. Soon enough, I had sleepless nights and found myself wide awake night after night, not because I was motivated to seek the Lord but because I was crippled by so much fear, I couldn't sleep. 

Fear of what others thought, fear of not being good enough, fear of messing up, fear of my shortcomings, fear of rejection, fear of failing  and disappointing... These were just some of the fears that constantly ran through my mind all of which enveloped around "What would other people think?" - which is founded in the fear of men. 

It wasn't until I came across an encouraging word one day. It spoke about how God chose His children and has always intended for His children to achieve big things. Because he chose us we need to fight comparison. For a good six months following that, I meditated on the truth of John 15:16.

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you". John 15:16 (NIV)

At the end of that six months, I had a shocking revelation; God chose me despite knowing all my flaws and weaknesses. This all-knowing, all-powerful, almighty God chose me! He is all the endorsement I need. He is all the validation I need. He is all I need. During that time, I also had Israel Houghton's "To Worship You I Live" on repeat to remind myself that God was the only one who deserves my praise. 

The Bible tells us that if we abide in Him, He will abide in us and from that place, He causes us to produce fruit that lasts. Yet, how often do we abide in our own human efforts?

That season taught me three valuable lessons. 

1. Set my eyes on Jesus 

The Bible tells us that Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2); yet so often we get so easily distracted and we start putting our trust in our human efforts - I know I often put a higher value on what others thought of me than what God has said over me. So I have to remind myself to keep my eyes set on Him. 

2. Never compare 

Nothing good comes out of comparison. It either produces pride which God opposes or it produces envy which the Bible calls sin. I remind myself of John 15:16 and that I am chosen by Him.

3. Guard my heart

Fear crept in as I allowed what others said to sit in my heart - fear of others was louder than the word of God. There is no two ways about it, we have to feed our soul with our daily bread and that is the word of God. The word of God says that faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ. Romans 10:17 (ESV). I learnt a hard lesson that year that the busier I get, the more vital it is for me to ensure I read the Word of God. 

May I propose to you today that faith and fear cannot exist in the same space and whichever dominates depends on the words we listen to, the thoughts we meditate on and the direction our eyes look to…

Written by Fiona Keshure
Fiona lives in Kota Kinabalu and is on the Kingdomcity team.